Does this mean that Heidi Klum is now qualified to fix my sink? [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

Looks like some of the Spice Girls have been wearing Britney Spears’ old dresses — or as she likes to call them, “napkins”. [The Star Blogger]

It’s been exactly one year since Tom Cruise made his hostage taking official. [Celebrity Nation]

For someone named Lil’ Kim, she sure has a big head. But then I guess she’d have to since she’s got a whole lot of ugly to carry around. [That Grape Juice]

Amy Winehouse is being criticized for glamourizing cocaine by parading around at 80 pounds with missing teeth. [In Case You Didn't Know]

Britney Spears will be spending her Thanksgiving in *snort* Miley Cyrus’ bathroom. [Hollywood Backwash]

Britney Spears has hired a private detective to dig up dirt on her ex-husband K-Fed. Cue the backhoe. [Dlisted]

Did you know that the American Music Awards were on last night? I didn’t, but that’s probably because I was too busy sleeping through “Desperate Housewives” and “Brothers & Sisters”. [Bizzom]

And finally, here’s the one highlight from last night’s American Music Awards. If you find yourself still watching after the guy trips and falls, then I think I may know why the kids in the school keep beating you up.

From Page Six:

Page Six recently reported that words to some of her new album’s songs took aim at her ex, Zach Braff. When we asked about the guys young Hollywood women should avoid, she said, “I’d never name names . . . but I’d say stay away from anyone who is too insecure or self-involved.”

This reminds me of the time I started to write something about Mandy Moore, but then completely forgot who she was because all her movies suck and I don’t like fat chicks. I forget exactly what happened after that, but I’m pretty sure I ended up posting the one-sheet for her new film and then told everyone to go see it.

Editor’s Note: For those of you who will no doubt give me shit for referring to Mandy Moore as a “fat chick”, I ask you to open your hearts and admit that she at least has fat potential. This way you won’t have to waste your time berating me in the comments section below, and I won’t have to waste my time trying to figure out why the hell you would waste your time defending a celebrity who would sooner eat you than learn the lyrics to her own fucking songs to entertain you.