In case you were wondering why she didn’t show up for her shots this week, here’s Pamela Anderson in Las Vegas yesterday serving vegetarian turkey to an unsuspecting public who obviously thought that a PETA dinner involved some kind of meat in a flat bread.

Stupid public. Of course, the meat being dished out was fake — look who was serving it. Do you see anything not fake about her? Now go get yourself tested for Hepatitis C before you go home and give it to the kids. You may need their kidneys one day.

Editor’s Note: Today’s headline was inspired by “F For Fake“, a film by the great Orson Welles. He ate turkeys in one swallow, not to mention the occasional Turk. Poor Telly.

There’s been some speculation on the ol’ Interweb today about whether or not this is really a photograph of Vanessa Hudgens — star of “High School Musical”, “High School Musical 2”, and your son’s wet dream last night — in the nude. Well, according to TMZ, it is:

In a statement to TMZ, Hudgens’ rep says, “This was a photo which was taken privately. It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public.” The National Enquirer was the first to report of the photo’s existence, and it has since surfaced on various blogs across the net.

You know, when I came across this photograph last night, I really didn’t care if it was Vanessa Hudgens or an extra from Mel Gibson’s “Apocalypto”. And neither did my penis. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’d tell you himself…if he didn’t type like this:

sdghje suire 8isx purdtyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Special Note To All The Children Out There: Honey, if you just came across this photograph after googling your hero Vanessa Hudgens, then I think there’s something you should know. Mommy and daddy really did get a divorce because of you.

While on a promotional tour for “High School Musical 2” last July, actor/singer/dancer Zac Efron bought his co-star/beard Vanessa Hudgens a $1200 pair of Rene Caovilla heels at Chicago’s Neiman Marcus, only to have her return them the next day after a night on the town.

From NY Daily News:

“These shoes weren’t gently worn. They were all torn up like she was dancing all night,” says the snitch.

According to the insider: “Department stores call those people ‘the renters,’ who return the stuff the next day. It’s unusual to do it with shoes, though.”

Hudgens’ rep did not comment Friday.

Hey, this reminds of the time I bought “High School Musical” on DVD, only to return it the next day after watching about a half hour of it. Sure, it was an incredible waste of time, but I did learn one very important lesson that day. Always wear your glasses when buying porn.

“Musical” – “Muscles” – it’s all the same when it’s blurry.

Editor’s Protest: I think it’s only fitting that we all get together one day and buy about ten million dollars worth of “High School Musical” Merchandise, only to return it the next day with shit smeared all over it. Not only will it teach these two stars (and the mega-conglomerate known as ABC DISNEY COBRA SPECTRE) a lesson, but it may also help your local Wal-Mart smell better.