Honestly, dude, what the fuck? Not only were you the greatest actor of your generation, but your performance in “Lords of Dogtown” is one of my all-time favorites.

You know, if you really wanted to kill something with sleeping pills today, I’m sure Lindsay or Britney or Paris or — insert your own useless skank here — I would’ve gladly accompanied you to lunch for some deliciously pharmaceuticalized Chinese food.

My only hope now is that something good can come out of all this. Namely, Mary-Kate Olsen being arrested for murder.

Editor’s Note: If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then perhaps it’s time to venture outside the cave and read about Heath Ledger’s untimely demise here.