If, of course, you’re the one responsible for cutting her hair or selling her that bikini of Playdough colors.

Special Note to Elisha Cuthbert: No, fuck you and the viral marketing campaign that convinced me to see “Captivity“. I still can’t believe that piece of shit was directed by Roland Joffe. He did “The Killing Fields“, for Christ’s sake. What did you ever do besides Kiefer Sutherland, and obviously, Roland Joffe?