After reportedly being dropped as the face of Christian Dior makeup because she wasn’t famous enough, actress Julia Roberts is apparently now close to signing another deal with rival cosmetics company Avon. For just $2 to $4 million a year, the “Pretty [Ugly] Woman” star is expected to promote a wide range of products but will most likely not do it door-to-door since it is no longer 1980 and would probably involve some walking.

From Life Style Extra:

Roberts was recently dropped from Dior’s Hollywood wish-list - because she was “not famous enough”.

The star - who is currently starring in the hit Broadway show, ‘Three Days Of Rain’ - was in negotiations to be the face of a new perfume due to be launched next year, but the firm has pulled out of talks.

An insider said: “We are not so interested anymore. We are looking at lots of famous women to maybe be the face.”

Roberts is not the only star that make-up giant Avon will have promoting their products.

‘From Dusk Till Dawn’ star Salma Hayek is already on their books. However, she will reportedly be getting just $1 million for her efforts.

While I am grateful that Julia Roberts won’t be peddling this stuff door-to-door like in the old days, I am disappointed at losing another opportunity to finally meet her. It would have really been like a dream come true to have had the chance to invite her in for some coffee and watch as she struggled to grab me from across the kitchen table while slurring “Did you drug me?”. But as fun as that would’ve have been to watch, the real fun would have come in pulling out a jar of peanuts and playing Olympic Ski Jump with that big nose of hers. And maybe, if I had enough time, even reenact some of those cool chase scenes from “For Your Eyes Only”.

But, as I said before, I should really be grateful that she won’t be coming to my house anytime soon. Because the last time someone with a Southern accent came to my door, all my black friends immediately ran down into my basement in a desperate search for a passage to the Underground Railroad. And, as you can already guess, it was a pretty embarrassing situation for everyone involved. Especially me since I was the one who had to come up with a quick explanation for all those dead hookers and lifetime supply of cream corn.

Yeah, I should really keep that door locked from now on.