That’s right, and for once, I’m completely serious.

Because of my fondness for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise and all things Jordana Brewster, I will be giving away three prize packs – courtesy of New Line Cinema – to celebrate the opening of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” on Oct. 6.

Each prize pack will include:

An original “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” key chain [check it out]
An original “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” T-shirt [check it out]
A two-disc special edition DVD of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake from 2003. [The one with Jessica Biel in it. Yeah, who doesn’t want that?]

For a chance to win, all you have to do is send an e-mail entitled “Texas Chainsaw Massacre Giveaway” to erichvonstroheim@theblogyoulovetohate.com and let me know what your favorite film from the franchise is [FYI: there are six of them including this newest one]. If you don’t have a favorite, however, don’t worry about. Just write down “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” and I’ll assume you’re psychic.

The fine print:

Only one entry per person. [My mailbox is full enough.]
Entries must be received by 11:59:59 pm on October 9th. [I have my stopwatch handy.]
All winners will be chosen at random. [Hooray for fairness!]
All winners will be notified by e-mail on October 10th. [Unless I’m dead, then you may have to wait a bit longer.]

Good Luck!

Editor’s Note: If you’ve never seen the 2003 remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, then you really need to win this contest or at least steal borrow twenty bucks from your mom’s purse to buy a copy. Because I’m telling you, things don’t get much better than watching Jessica Biel haul ass and hurdle over fence posts for a half an hour. It’s like pure nirvana, man. Only with a lot more blood than heroin.

If your idea of a good time is to sit back and watch as young women scream in peril then you’re, most likely, a misogynistic asshole who hates his mother and likes to slap his wife around. If, however, you think I just made a sweeping generalization about those of you who simply enjoy a good ol’ fashioned slasher pic then you’re all, most assuredly, just a bunch of poor misguided misogynistic assholes in denial.

Furthermore, if you’re someone with a houseful of children who carelessly allows all of…

*SLAP*

Ok, now that I’ve successfully wrestled my wife away from the computer, let me properly introduce these advance stills from the new prequel to “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. As you can already see, the lovely Jordana Brewster will succeed Jessica Biel as Leatherface’s next entrée while R. Lee Ermey will be on hand to play the “can you trust him or does he really just want to eat you” Sheriff Hoyt.

And while I rightfully have some reservations about how good the film is going to be - especially since it’s being helmed by the obviously drunk director behind “Darkness Falls” – I can’t help but be a little bit excited about it. After all, it’s not everyday you get to watch a new film that sparks the imagination and gives you even more ideas on how to beat that ungrateful wife of yours.

Given the current size of Janet Jackson and the ease at which she could kick my ass, I’ve been feeling a lot less manly lately. Therefore, I’ve decided to post an image of one celebrity whose ass I know I could kick – actress Jordana Brewster.*