If I was in the middle of a very messy and very public divorce like, say, Denise Richards is, the last thing I’d probably be doing right now would be dressing myself up like a whore and parading around Las Vegas – especially if I ever wanted to see my children again. But, as you can see, that’s exactly what the 35-year-old actress ended up doing anyway last Saturday night after foolishly accepting an invitation to perform with the always-manly Pussycat Dolls in the Pure Nightclub at Caesar’s Palace.

I must say that after carefully examining these photographs with the help of both my penis and right hand, I can definitely see why Charlie Sheen kept coming back to this bitch after their lengthy separations. It’s just too bad his skinny arms were incapable of beating any real sense into her or they’d probably still be together. But I guess it’s a bit too late to think about that now, especially since Richie Sambora already has her dressing up like a Bon Jovi groupie with Hepatitis C.

Editor’s Note: Fucking kill me and this blog now. It bores me to tears.