But at least he’s got himself a hickey. And a sling blade. Mmmm hmmm.

Editor’s Note: Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a kaiser blade.

If you think the idea of global warming is some kind of plot dreamed up by Barbara Streisand to get her fat ass back into the Lincoln bedroom by 2009, think again. Not only has global warming been officially recognized as a real threat by the nine out of ten scientists currently studying my uncanny ability to pick the ponies, but it also appears to cause great discomfort to dashing matinee idols like Ben Affleck. And that, my friends, is something that should not be allowed to happen – especially if we want him to take that five million dollar pay cut for “Gigli 2”.

Editor’s Note: Over at TMZ, they have some video of Ben trying to catch a fly ball during Sunday’s game. Needless to say, he didn’t get it, but that’s probably because he plays for that “pink team” my grandfather’s always talking about.