I’m betting the moment Anne Hathaway stepped off the plane in Tokyo, someone immediately yelled “Godzilla!” and whipped the entire airport into a panic. Thankfully though – as this photograph suggests – there was at least one levelheaded guy in the crowd who noticed her hooker boots and quickly realized that Godzilla wouldn’t be caught dead in those things.

And it’s because of that guy and his enormous round spectacles that we are looking at a photograph of Anne Hathaway accepting flowers from a woman half her size and not one of her standing in front of a burning skyscraper with an understandable look of “WTF” on her face. They do that with hookers, you know, the Japanese. They give them flowers and treat them like royalty. I know because I’ve seen “Memoirs of a Geisha” eight times.

Ok, I lied. Make that zero times because I’m not gay. I think.

It’s nice to see that actress Anne Hathaway has officially chosen a side in the Hollywood turf war between pale celebrities and tan celebrities. I just hope she and Nicole Kidman can recruit a few more members before the big rumble Saturday night because as it stands right now, they’re totally fucked. Not only are they gravely outnumbered, but rumors have it that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have finally put aside their differences and we’re spotted at Jessica Simpson’s house last night splitting a cheese sandwich in an effort to bulk up.