Avril Lavigne whores it up for her new music video by being herself. [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

Keira Knightley is currently shooting “The Duchess” in London. No, it’s actually more boring than it sounds. [Pop Atlas]

Britney Spears is obsessed with Princess Diana and her untimely death during World War Vietnam. [Hollywood Backwash]

If Jennifer Hudson ever blew me a kiss, I’d start to salivate at the smell of bacon. It’s delicious! [Dlisted]

Was Vanessa Hudgens fired from Disney because she was naked in those photos or because she wasn’t wearing any mouse ears? [The Naked Celebrity]

So this is the woman who claims that Lindsay Lohan stole her fiance? Damn, she’s lucky she didn’t lose him earlier to an old bag lady or an escaped bear. Bitch is ugly. [The Star Blogger]

Hilary Swank is going to complete her lesbian trifecta by playing Amelia Earhart. [Celebrity Nation]

Nick Nolte still hasn’t named his new baby yet. I’m guessing it’s because he’s been too busy working — on that keg in the basement. A keg named Isabelle. [Celebrity Baby Names]

And finally, here’s Ellen DeGeneres crying about dogs or something. I really don’t know since I prefer to only watch lesbians when they’re naked and kissing each other.

I don’t know about you, but if I was Sum 41 vocalist Deryck Whibley (aka Mr. Avril Lavigne), the last thing I would do would be to dress up like a vacationing Freddy Krueger while walking hand in hand with someone who looks and acts like a twelve-year-old. Especially if that supposed twelve-year-old weighed a whole lot more than me and I was already fighting an 8 mph crosswind coming across the parking lot. Because if you couple those odds with a few drunken fathers stumbling out of Chili’s, you’re looking at a good ol’ fashioned ass-kicking and maybe, if you’re especially lucky, some nice punctured lungs as a souvenir.

Special Note to Deryck Whibley: The safer option here would have been to dress up like Jerry Lee Lewis. No one fucks with that guy. He’s crazy.