Victoria Beckham made some friends at the London Chest Hospital recently when she was offered a cup of coffee by some nurses and then turned it down because it wasn’t made with bottled water.

From News of the World:

“She was offered a cup of coffee by one of the staff,” said another visitor to the London Chest Hospital.

“But he wanted to know what kind of water had it been made with—bottled or tap. Obviously it was tap water and she said, ‘No, thank you’.

“The staff were bemused. Water is boiled anyway, so people didn’t understand what the problem was.”

The Posh show — as she and husband David visited 59-year-old dad Ted following his heart attack — kept ward staff amused for hours.

I don’t understand. Where’s the part of the story where the head nurse then took the coffee pot and smashed it over Posh’s head? Shouldn’t that be in there somewhere along with quotes like “My face! My beautiful face!” and “Ah bollocks, call maintenance! The bloody cunt’s bleeding all over me floor.”

Editor’s Note: You know, reading this story reminds me of why I piss into bottles in the first place. Not only does it cut down on bathroom breaks while driving, but it also gives me a trunk full of payback when some snobby bitch turns her nose at my coffee made from tap water.

“Excuse me, sir, but this second batch of coffee tastes a bit funny. Did you use bottled water like I requested?”

“Bottled water? Oh, I thought you meant bottled piss. My mistake.”

“Eghads! I think I might take ill.”

“Good. For a minute there, I thought I wasted an entire bottle of March 2005 piss for nothing.”

“Arrgh, my stomach! I’m sure I deserve this for being such a snobby uptight bitch.”

“Probably.”

The End