If you’re looking for a good laugh next week, then you might want to stay home from work on Monday and tune into MTV’s TRL at around 3:30 pm EST. Because that’s when you’ll see the world premiere of Britney Spears’ new video “Gimme More” and then maybe a newsflash about an hour later saying that she shot herself. Shame’s kind of funny that way.

People describes:

A fit-looking Bad Girl Britney sports a tattoo on her bicep and dresses in all black. She wears a leather vest, a studded belt and skimpy panties over ripped fishnet stockings.

As she dances erotically around a pole and up against a mirror, she flips her hair while special-effects lights flash around her as the camera moves slightly in and out of focus to the beat of the song, giving it a raw and edgy look.

At times she’s dancing alone and at others she’s with several other female dancers.

Meanwhile, the more innocent-looking blonde alter-ego Good Britney watches from the bar, giggling at times and looking stunned at others.

The footage goes from black and white with aura-like blue and pink lights to full blown color.

First-time director Jake Sarfaty was “handpicked” by the singer, a rep from label Jive confirmed, adding that the project, shot over two days, was purely Spears’s “concept and her vision.”

Well, if anyone at all is going to benefit from watching this video, it’s going to be Britney’s kids. Because I’m pretty sure that if you plop them down in front of the television set for four minutes and they recognize the fat whore before them as their mom, that that time counts towards their visitation with her.

And that means, of course, that Sean Preston and Jayden James are then about four minutes less likely to be burned by a cigarette or dropped on their head. Or possibly even hooked on smack. Which, of course, is good, because I’m thinking: “do I really want to be wrestling with these two kids twenty years from now after I catch them burglarizing my home.” Of course not. I mean, what if one of them accidentally tips over my bathroom bucket? I’d never be able to get the smell out of the cardboard.

Editor’s Note: So yeah, judge? What about the dog? You know it’s only a matter of time before she mistakes it for a croissant.

“I didn’t know croissants barked. How cute.”