You know that dead hooker you pulled out of the Hudson last week and didn’t tell the cops about because you wanted to take her home and dress her up like dear old mom? Yeah, well, apparently she wasn’t all that dead and decided to go see a movie last night. I don’t think she’s coming back.

Editor’s Note: I must admit that there was a time when I truly believed that Vera Farmiga was the most beautiful Ukrainian in all of New York. But now, I’m going to have to give that honor to the guy who kills my chickens. I’d tell you his name if I could spell it, but I don’t speak commie. Go America!