Joe Simpson — the father and fondler handler of pop star Jessica Simpson — told People magazine recently that his daughter is talking about going back to her roots by making a country album as a brunette. Ok, so maybe not that last part.

From People:

“Everything in our business is about beats and I think she really wants to sing,” he said, “and country music still believes in that.”

Simpson, 27, recently finished filming Major Movie Star and is turning her thoughts back to her music. Her last album, 2006’s “Public Affair,” hit the Top 20, but quickly fell off the charts.

“She’s a singer from top to bottom,” Joe Simpson said. “And everything in the music business, especially pop music, has moved away from singers. And I think country is the the only pure, storytelling kind of genre left.”

God, I fucking hate country music. But you already knew that, now didn’t you, God? That’s why you went ahead and put this god-awful idea in that big empty head of hers, right? So she could make a country album so bad, its very existence would destroy all of Nashville — including both Dollywood and the Barbara Mandrell museum of big hair? It’s all part of the big plan, right? A necessary evil to obliterate country music once and for all? Right? God? Answer me!

Editor’s Note: Or this news item simply proves once again that there is no God.

Editor’s Reply To Himself: No God? You don’t say.