At first glance, this picture of Sharon Stone reminded me of that scene from “There’s Something about Mary” in which Cameron Diaz unknowingly put Ben Stiller’s equally unfunny sperm in her hair. Now I wish I could go ahead and say that that’s exactly what happened with Sharon Stone here, but it’s obvious from the pictures below that her hair is simply being blown by the wind. Plus sperm is expensive and she would never waste it on her hair when her face needs it so badly. Also, that lipstick? Yeah, not lipstick. Try the blood of virgins.

Editor’s Note: Hmm, perhaps I should go into hiding before she hits the east coast.

Special Note to Sharon Stone: It’s not working.