Here’s a picture of John Travolta with wife Kelly Preston and wife eater Kirstie Alley at the Scientology Celebrity Centre’s 38th anniversary gala last Saturday. Isn’t it odd how they all look so deceptively normal? Like they’re not even Scientologists, but instead run-of-the-mill Roman Catholics out celebrating the death of a homosexual and his descent into hell. Although I guess if that was truly the case, their smiles would be a lot wider and there wouldn’t be any robot waiters in the background.

Editor’s Note: Let’s forget for a moment that Kirstie Alley looks like a chicken in drag and instead concentrate on what the fuck is going on with Travolta’s hair. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure if it’s a toupee or my Social Studies book. I’ve been looking for that for a while now.