According to media outlets everywhere, Lindsay Lohan was arrested early this morning on suspicion of drunk driving. This marks the second time in less than three months that the freckled cokehead redhead has been busted for driving under the influence – she was just booked last week for a lovely hit and run crash that occurred over Memorial Day weekend – and also brings to an end her impressive 58-day streak of driving drunk without being caught.

From People:

Her attorney said Lohan, recently released from rehab, had “relapsed” and was receiving “medical care.”

The actress, 21, was searched in the police station and a “small” amount of cocaine was found in her pocket, says Santa Monica police spokesman Lt. Alex Padilla.

But wait, that’s not all. Lindsay was also booked for possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custody facility and driving on a suspended license. Wow, this whole “Christmas in July” thing really seems to be catching on. Thanks St. LAPD.

More From People:

Two Breathalyzer tests determined Lohan’s blood-alcohol level was .12 percent and .13 (the legal limit is .08). She also took a urine test, and may face an additional charge of driving under the influence of a controlled substance if cocaine is found in her system, Padilla says.

And what did Lindsay’s attorney have to say about all this?

Again, From People:

“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease,” Lohan’s attorney, Blair Berk, said in a statement. “Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”

And what did I have to say about all this?

Not From People:

With all these celebrity arrests lately, someone should seriously think about putting together some kind of demolition derby for charity. What better way to feed the hungry and cloth the homeless than to charge fifty bucks a head to see a drunk Lindsay Lohan smash into a drunk Paris Hilton as Nicole Richie struggles to stay awake long enough to ram George Michael who is slumped over his wheel unconscious. Think of the all the death and mayhem it would cause to people who actually deserve it. And really, in what other venue would you get a chance to see Mel Gibson call Haley Joel Osment “sugartits”?

Editor’s Note: What’s the old adage? The bigger something is, the funnier it is? For posterity…