A warning to all you pissy Londoners out there:

Unless you want to zig-zag your way through puddles of vomit on a daily basis, I’d seriously consider staying inside until Paula Abdul vacates your city. If you thought she was unreasonably drunk while judging “American Idol” here in America, just wait until she realizes that you guys have a pub on every corner.

In fact, according to my keen sense of lip-reading, I’m pretty sure Paula is asking this kid for “a couple quid” so she can “get pissed” and “oppress the Irish”. That’s what you guys do over there, right?