Don’t you love it when Velma sneaks into Daphne’s closet and tries on all her clothes? [Britney Spears Continues Her One-Woman Reign Of Fashion Terror]

Brooke Hogan’s lucky that acid spill only hit her jeans and face. [The Skinny Website]

Is that Mark Twain’s autograph I see just above Demi Moore’s nipple? [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

Boo! Eddie Murphy is the father of Scary Spice’s baby and the drinker of a whole lot of alcohol. [Buzznet]

Maybe Posh can buy a sandwich now with all her winnings. [Celebrity Nation]

George Clooney to protest with the Italians by burning every last fucking house to the ground and eating spaghetti. [The Evil Beet]

John Travolta’s not gay, but his toupee is. [Dlisted]

Jenna Jameson has got to be the most erotic-looking corpse I have ever seen. Sorry, Grandma. [Celebridiot]

If Paris Hilton is beneath her, then how the hell does Barbara Walters explain Star Jones and Elisabeth Hasselbeck? [In Case You Didn't Know]

And finally, some extra sexy video of Tara Reid making out with some random guy in the back of a car. Hey random guy, you’ve got balls of steel, man. Or a syphillis-infected brain.