In an effort to destroy what’s left of Larry King’s credibility [and carotid artery], Paris Hilton will sit down with the cable news host this Wednesday –- the day after her release from pretty pretty princess jail –- for an hour-long live interview that I’m sure will only make us love her more.

From Los Angeles Times:

In a statement released through a spokesman this afternoon, Hilton said: “I am thrilled that Larry King has asked me to appear on his program to discuss my experience in jail, what I have learned, how I have grown and anything else he wants to talk about.

“Larry King is not only a world-renowned journalist, but a true American icon. It will be an honor to do his show.”

Now I’m no doctor, or even one of Larry King’s former lovers, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Larry probably doesn’t have a bad case of herpes like, say, Paris Hilton does. And if that’s the case, I sure hope Larry takes at least a few precautions during this interview since I would hate to see him contract herpes and then pass them on to God when he dies next month.

Personally, I think his best line of defense here is to simply borrow one of those space suits from NASA and then convince Paris to wear it. That way Larry can still have sex with his wife without explaining and Paris can pretend she’s a real-live astronaut who’s admired by all. And then, when the viewers begin to call in and tell her she’s not, she can drown in a helmet of her own tears and we can all share a good laugh. With God. I think he’d like that.

Editor’s Note: Here’s that picture of Paris being taken back to jail after her house arrest. You know, in case you need to practice laughing before Wednesday.