I am so fucking confused right now. [Vanessa Marcil (aka one of the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen) takes a stroll on the beach with HER FIANCE]

Pete Wentz tried to beat the shit out of me the other day for heckling him during a concert. Too bad the only thing that came out was Hepatitis C. Sing about that, bitch. [Buzznet]

Let’s all write about how much Angelina Jolie hates the press. I think she’d like that. [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

According to Sienna Miller, Keira Knightley can’t be anorexic because “she eats like a horse”. A bulimic horse. [The Skinny Website]

Kelly Clarkson cancels her summer tour because she’s fat and eats too much cake. Oh come on, you know it’s true. [Celebridiot]

Speaking of Kelly Clarkson, I think this guy could probably take her. On a two-month tour of the world’s finest bakeries. I think she’d like that. [Dlisted]

Barbara Walters gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame before a tombstone. Talk about cutting it close. [Popbytes]

Rod Stewart has married for a third time.* [Celebrity Nation]

If Rosie O’Donnell replaces Bob Barker, look for CBS to rename the show “The Price is Left”. Yeah, I know. Worst. Joke. Ever. [The Evil Beet]

And finally, in case you missed it, here’s some guy falling down the aisle during the final taping of “The Price is Right”. Hey, it happens to the fattest of us.

*If you’re looking for something funny in that sentence, you’re wasting your time.