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May 9, 2007

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

Before I reveal the correct answer to this little brain teaser of mine, let me first address the many wrong answers that Iâ€™m sure were uttered right off the bat.

Answer #1: Lucy Liu

If that was your first guess, then you, my friend, are a racist. To single her out just because she looks like she eats rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is not only incredibly stupid, but pretty assholish as well. Itâ€™s not like I provided audio samples with each picture and you picked her because she talked like this: â€œChing chong I hate ching Rosie Oâ€™Donnell ching chong ching.â€ No, you just went on looks alone and that, my racist friend, is wrong.

Answer #2: Debra Messing

Sorry, wrong again. To single her out just because she looks like a third grader who crashed daddyâ€™s office party in her dead mommyâ€™s dress is not only terribly mean, but also quite immature. Flat-chested women have feelings too, you know — just not as many since they have less room to store them in.

Answer #3: Rose McGowan

Close, but no cigar. While Rose does appear to be the only one here who looks as if sheâ€™s had painful skin grafts after barely surviving a house fire, it would be wrong to single her out just because she doesnâ€™t know how to freebase properly.

Answer #4: Lindsay Lohan

If you answered Lindsay Lohan because you think sheâ€™s the only one coked up in these pictures, then you, my friend, are an idiot. Seriously, turn in your driverâ€™s license, your gas-powered stove, and any pair of scissors you may have lying around the house before you accidentally kill yourself or one of your neighbors.

The correct answer isâ€¦

Jessica Simpson. Because you canâ€™t see her earrings. And because sheâ€™s the only one I havenâ€™t slept with. Yet.

Game over. Piss off.

[Scarlett Johansson - MET Costume Institute Gala / May 7, 2007 - Click To Enlarge]

[Jessica Simpson - MET Costume Institute Gala / May 7, 2007 - Click To Enlarge]

[Lindsay Lohan - MET Costume Institute Gala / May 7, 2007 - Click To Enlarge]

[Lucy Liu - MET Costume Institute Gala / May 7, 2007 - Click To Enlarge]

[Rose McGowan - MET Costume Institute Gala / May 7, 2007 - Click To Enlarge]

Filed under: Uncategorized — Erich von Stroheim @ 3:48 pm Permalink

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