Sarah Jessica Parker will trade you this glass of tears for a compliment. [Dlisted]

Has Courtney Love fallen off the wagon? The answer to this question and more when I give a fuck. [Faded Youth]

Liv Tyler may have lost a lot of weight, but she still has a long way to go before she can give those fingers a rest. [The Skinny Website]

Apparently, some guy named Jesse Metcalfe entered rehab today. More details to come once he actually becomes famous enough to make fun of. [Tabloid Whore]

Looks like Jordana Brewster will be playing the Angelina Jolie role in the new ABC series “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”. I guess Jennifer Aniston must have been busy or something. [Pop Atlas]

If you don’t buy Adidas, David Beckham’s gonna pop a cap in your ass. Or get Britney pregnant. Or possibly even both. How’s that for advertising? [The Evil Beet]

Another day, another picture of Christina Aguilera getting ready to give head to a birthday cake. [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

Did you know that Sanjaya’s sister used to work at Hooters? If you did, then can you please explain to me the sentence I just wrote. [Jesus Hearts Music]

If Britney Spears has really gone from pop icon to punk rocker, then someone really needs to dig up the corpse of Sid Vicious so they can carry on a love affair that ends with her bleeding to death in a bathroom. Wow, now I’m just being mean. And punk, man. Totally punk. [Buzznet]

And finally, Sid Vicious singing “My Way”. Why you may ask? Because I fucking feel like it, that’s why.

Now that, my friends, is what I call entertainment. Much better than all this gossipy gossip nonsense that is slowly rotting my soul. And yours.