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The Britney You Love To Hate

February 6, 2007

Tori Spelling May Try To Eat You

Tori Spelling 1 [Walking Around Fat & Pregnant - February 2, 2007]

Now I’m not one to make fun of fat people – especially since the majority of them could easily kick my ass – but sometimes you just have to grow a pair and poke them with your sharp stick of criticism regardless of what the consequences might be.

Take Tori Spelling, for example. I know there’s a very good chance that she could show up at my door one day and proceed to make me pay for the following comments:

“Hey Tori, if being pregnant is your excuse for being fat, what’s your excuse for being ugly?”

“As you can see, Tori’s been eating babies again in a misguided attempt to give her fetus someone to play with.”

“Hey, is that Marlon Brando under all that hair?”

“Or Mrs. Potato Head?”

“Ribbit!”

I also know that, if I’m lucky, there’s a very good chance she may still be pregnant at the time, allowing me to distract her with nothing more than a water balloon at her feet and maybe a Cabbage Patch doll or two. This, I would think, would give me plenty of time to escape any such consequence as I have been told on more than one occasion that I have all the courage and speed of a little girl being chased by bees. Hey, don’t be jealous. We can’t all be born with talent.

Of course, there’s always a chance she could show up at my house not pregnant at all, but instead looking to be impregnated. That would be one hell of a consequence, especially if she held me at gunpoint. It would also beg the question: am I faster than a bullet? Which, as we already know, is a resounding yes. Much faster. And prettier too.

Tori Spelling 2 [Walking Around Fat & Pregnant - February 2, 2007]Tori Spelling 3 [Walking Around Fat & Pregnant - February 2, 2007]Tori Spelling 4 [Walking Around Fat & Pregnant - February 2, 2007]Tori Spelling 5 [Walking Around Fat & Pregnant - February 2, 2007]Tori Spelling 6 [Walking Around Fat & Pregnant - February 2, 2007]Tori Spelling 7 [Walking Around Fat & Pregnant - February 2, 2007]

[Tori Spelling - Walking Around Fat & Pregnant / February 2, 2007 - Click To Enlarge Even More]

Filed under: Uncategorized — Erich von Stroheim @ 1:36 pm Permalink


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24 Comments »

  1. That’s very harsh! and not the least bit funny.

    Comment by Maria — February 7, 2007 @ 9:01 am

  2. Ribbit? I don’t get it.

    Either way, we really should stop making fun of overweight people. Making fun of them just makes them more fat, because, as we all know, human fat is made of pure insults. And lets not forget that the overweight *are* the majority now.

    And she *is* pregnant. Celebs are humans too, contrary to popular belief. Slack should be cut. Now, if she still looks like that when the kid is in kindergarten, then there is cause for *concern*, not *insults*.

    Silly.

    Comment by Monkey — February 7, 2007 @ 9:50 am

  3. Gee, when did she start gaining weight? After her father died. Cut the woman some slack. She’s compensating for her loss.

    Jerk.

    Comment by - — February 7, 2007 @ 1:42 pm

  4. Go bite a fart, you Tori worshippers. This woman is, and has always been homely and untalented. What’s the harm in adding “fat” to the list?

    Comment by Tori's Appalling — February 7, 2007 @ 2:26 pm

  5. Wow, dude… even while trying to be shocking, you are still not funny. She doesn’t look fat. You really need some new material, huh?

    Comment by Jack's Balls — February 7, 2007 @ 3:01 pm

  6. She is definitely looking HOT. I would love to poop on her face and watch her gargle my diarrhea. Mmmmmm, diarrhea. I can’t. stop. masturbating. to. those. pics.

    Comment by Poopeater — February 7, 2007 @ 7:49 pm

  7. I also forgot to mention that I read a very reliable rumor that Tori likes to suck the farts out of her ass with a short length of hose. HOT.

    Comment by Poopeater — February 7, 2007 @ 7:50 pm

  8. In reference to the comments right above mine. I can tell you’re either an imature teenager or uneducated imbecile. Learn to speak like a human. No one is praising Tori Spelling its just wrong to put down someobody just because they gained weight due to pregnancy or about their looks. I’m sure you’re ugly as well..in fact i’m positive you are..Listen to the way you speak. Get some class loser. In fact..why dont you get some therapy. I heard there may be some therapy out there for poop obsessed freaks like you!

    Comment by Disgusted — February 8, 2007 @ 10:06 am

  9. If she’s fat, then what the fuck am I? God only knows what I would baloon up to while pregnant!

    Comment by Blake! — February 8, 2007 @ 3:46 pm

  10. Sigh. I love when the guys who knocked women up try to be all manly and protective around the press.

    Comment by christine — February 8, 2007 @ 4:13 pm

  11. The issue is not her being pregnant; it’s what she does after the baby is born.

    Comment by eddiebear — February 8, 2007 @ 5:09 pm

  12. clearly the poster used the worst photo out of the bunch because tori doesn’t look bad in the other photos.

    seriously, yes she’s tori spelling and she’s not the best actress…but she was goddamn donna martin! and you know what? west beverly let donna martin graduate so cut her some slack…people gain weight when pregnant, it’s a fact of life.

    and ps. i wouldn’t go around calling other pregnant women fat because not only does it make you a douche but it’s also a fast way to get into a coma…just some friendly advice.

    Comment by cris — February 8, 2007 @ 5:44 pm

  13. Dear disgusted. It is time you came out of the closet. Do not be afraid to embrace your obvious latent homosexuality. Your anxiety over your love for little boys and enormous women is clearly causing you to act out in passive aggressive ways. You have already taken the first step by identifying your need for therapy. Act on that impulse and discover why you love men and why you are afraid of your body and its functions. Good luck.

    Dr. Rosenrosen Psy D.

    Comment by Dr. Rosenrosen — February 8, 2007 @ 5:52 pm

  14. wah i dont want a fat face like that when i get pregnant, what a nightmare!

    Comment by paris herpes — February 8, 2007 @ 10:36 pm

  15. This is being addressed to Dr Rosenrosen Psy D. who clearly is not a doctor but that’s another story. First things firs. You are an idiot!Now that i got that out of the way. For your information i’m a woman. Not a man…stupid! and I was merely stating the fact that those comments were stupid and idiotic. As are you! Get a life and stop trying to pose as a physician.Because you are not!

    Comment by Disgusted — February 10, 2007 @ 11:30 am

  16. Jeez, what are the odds that you are a fat, angry, lesbian? I didn’t know that men were the only ones who could be termed “homosexual.” Your lack of intelligence is astounding. It is only rivaled by your deep-seated anger issues and lack of self respect. No wonder you hate the penis. Lose some weight, fatty.

    Comment by FatAngryLesbianBrigade — February 10, 2007 @ 7:04 pm

  17. Far from fat. Go to hell

    Comment by Disgusted — February 12, 2007 @ 9:57 am

  18. “Far from fat. Go to hell”

    You say that like there’s something wrong with being fat.

    Comment by stander — February 12, 2007 @ 11:36 am

  19. So then, Disgusted, you’re not fat, just an angry lesbian? (doubts that you weigh less than 200 lbs)

    Comment by hahaha — February 13, 2007 @ 3:14 am

  20. she looks ok guys…she looks human to me,look at yourself in the mirror and tell me why you are not a celebrity…but do you guys recall The Little Mermaid,Tori has the resemblance of Ursula….Agree@@@????

    Comment by sapphire — February 14, 2007 @ 6:44 am

  21. happy valentine’s and eat plenty of chocolates you guys,…just stay fat……..hahahaha…being fat why is it such huge issue…get a life you……..

    Comment by sapphire — February 14, 2007 @ 6:50 am

  22. [...] Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling’s like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate] [...]

    Pingback by evilbeetgossip.com » Blog Archive » Late-Night Links — February 27, 2007 @ 12:26 pm

  23. [...] Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling’s like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate] [...]

    Pingback by The Evil Beet » Blog Archive » Late-Night Links — February 28, 2007 @ 4:15 am

  24. [...] Well, it looks like Naomi Watts is pregnant and not just fat like Tori Spelling. What a relief. [The Evil Beet] [...]

    Pingback by The Blog You Love To Hate»Blog Archive » The Gossip You Love To Hate — February 28, 2007 @ 8:12 am

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