Here’s a little tip for those who may one day find themselves trapped in a mall by a gang of zombies: shoot Emmy Rossum in the head first. Her teeth alone demand it. [Hollywood Snark]

Sienna Miller caught sipping coke instead of snorting it. [Pop Atlas]

How is it possible that the new wax figure of Victoria Beckham looks more realistic than the real thing? [Tabloid Whore]

In an effort to drive Mandy Moore into a deeper state of depression, I think I’m going to ask Barry Manilow to serenade her with his hit “Copacabana”. What? [The Evil Beet]

Jessica Simpson looks as if she just raided the closets of Carly Simon, Cher, Eminem, and my local farmer. [The Skinny Website]

Being the least popular of all the American Idols has officially pushed Fantasia Barrino off the deep end and back into her feral state. [Dlisted]

Jennifer Garner likes to slip and fall down a lot. Just like my Uncle Rick and Paula Abdul. [Celebrity Nation]

Katie Holmes looks ready for that formal Star Trek convention next week. [In Case You Didn't Know]

Ice-T’s wife Coco is seriously rocking rapping rocking the mother of all camel toes here. Seriously. [Jesus Hearts Music]

Tara Reid continues to shed her party girl image by keeping her clothes on as two rappers attempt to bang her on stage. [TMZ]