From the waist up, Marcia Cross doesn’t look a wee-bit pregnant. From the waist down, however, it’s an entirely different story. A story I like to call “Marcia Cross Isn’t Just Ugly Anymore, But Fat Too”. Hopefully, your children will love it when it hits stores next spring. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Tori Spelling is having a closet contents sale at her home this weekend. Look for Brian Austin Green to be sold into slavery within the first hour. [The Evil Beet]

Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston are no longer together making each other miserable. [Celebrity Week]

Eddie Murphy questions the paternity of Scary Spice’s baby, leaving me to question whether or not I still know who the hell Eddie Murphy is. He played Robocop, right? [Tabloid Whore]

Paris Hilton wants to have four babies before she’s 30. Hey Paris, how about I do you one better and give you four punches in the face before lunch. [Dlisted]

Ashlee Simpson wants to start hanging out with Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears so she can flash her penis too. [Popbytes]

Now Melissa Joan Hart is no longer as big as a house, look for the property values in her neighborhood to rise. [The Skinny Website]

Farrah Fawcett is currently recovering from cancer or cancer is currently recovering from some crazy bitch named Farrah. I forgot which. [Celebrity Nation]

Salma Hayek’s breasts are enormous. But sadly, they’re still not as big as my balls. Keep eating, Salma. You’ll get there. [Pop Atlas]

K-Fed releases a press release concerning dinner. Only Star Jones cares. [TMZ]