Is it just me or does Reese Witherspoon look a lot uglier than normal here? And by uglier than normal I mean what the fuck is up with that pointy chin of hers? She looks like she could open up one of those big cans of Hawaiian Punch with just one nod and a “Booyah!”. A pretty cool feat to be sure, but not nearly as cool as decapitating her in the middle of the night and using her head to become the Spinning Top champion of the world.*

*I was going to continue by saying that you could also shove a 2×4 through the top of her skull and use her head as a shovel to bury the rest of her body, but I thought that might be a bit too much. Also, I’d really hate to give people out there ideas only to see them accidentally unearth a vampire and have it try to kill them. Although I guess you could always stop it by chinning it through the heart, so yeah, nevermind, do what you want.

Editor’s Note: Did you know that Reese is a direct descendant of John Witherspoon, a signer of the Declaration of Independence? He’s known as being the only delegate to sign with his chin. Ba-Dum-Bum!