The always-unemployable Star Jones was spotted in a Manhattan Starbucks recently, asking a crowd of patrons for a dollar after she realized she didn’t have enough money to pay for her own beverage.

From National Enquirer:

Star ordered her caffeine beverage, rummaged around in her purse dramatically… then loudly announced that she’d left her wallet at home, and was a dollar short. Proving she’s still got that hustler chutzpah, Star appealed to the crowd: “Does anyone have a dollar I can borrow?” People actually started tossing bills at her, and she accepted a buck from one gentleman stranger, telling him: “It’s on me next time.” Stay tuned.

If I was the wittiest and most clever man alive, I probably would have written a better headline like “Star Gets Bucks At Starbucks” or “Starbucks’ Star Asks For Bucks Because Barbara Walters Canned Her Sorry Ass And She Can’t Get A Real Job Because Who The Hell Is Going To Hire Someone Who Knowingly Marries A Gay Man And Has The Sex Appeal Of Buddy Hackett”.

However, since I am obviously not that clever, I am going to concentrate instead on why so many people felt compelled to throw their hard-earned money at someone so hideously unattractive. Were they not aware that throwing money at women automatically triggers their desire to dance and take off all their clothes? Because if they were, then this Starbucks was filled with nothing more than a gang of daredevil scientists intent on proving that Star Jones was indeed a man; even if it meant weathering a few horrid lap dances if it turned out they were wrong.

Thankfully though, they weren’t and everyone got to go home in one piece. Leaving me to wonder what kind of piss poor screening process they have over there at “The View” and whether or not I can punch Elisabeth Hasselbeck in the face the next time I see her or if I’m going to have to get my wife to do it for me.

Editor’s Note: I included a picture of actor Jeffrey Jones with this story because he is both a star and a Jones. He also likes to “make art” with naked fourteen-year-old boys, which not only makes him the perfect choice to play the kooky camp counselor in the upcoming “Meatballs 5”, but still about a billion times more lovable than Star Jones.