Things I learned last night…

…from “American Dad”:

Making fun of fat people by repeatedly referring to them as “fat” should only be done in the comfort of your own home. Unless, of course, you live with a fat person, then all fat people bashing must be done at a designated time in the corner of your basement. Remember, it’s only mean if they hear you.

The only thing funnier than the word “fat” is when you combine it with the word “girl”.

…from “Family Guy”:

So, it was the horrible acting of Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall that killed my grandfather after all. I knew it wasn’t just a stroke like the doctor said.

Damn you, Andrew McCarthy, I don’t care if I have to check every soup kitchen in the city, I’m going to find you and hurt you. As for you, Kim Cattrall, beating you would actually mean I would have to touch you so I guess you’re safe until I figure something out.

Update: Hey Kim Cattrall, did you know that they make these things called gloves? I didn’t. Game on.

…from “Robot Chicken”:

Watching a little girl with shears cut the wings off Pegasus is not nearly as erotic as watching Perseus ride him throughout most of “Clash of the Titans”. But that’s probably because there are few things sexier than Harry Hamlin in a toga. Yes, me in a toga would be one. You in a toga? Uh, not so much, fat girl. See, I told you. Downright hilarious.