Britney Spears has a new website in which she morphs into a tiger. Now if only we can get Christina Aguilera’s website to morph her into a poacher, then we might just be onto something spectacular. [Best Week Ever]

Damn you, Mena Suvari – you promised me you’d stop hooking. [The Green Straw]

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are slated to get married in the next three to six weeks. Hopefully, I’ll be dead in the next two and won’t have to hear about it. You hear that, Elizabeth? I’m comin’ to join ya, honey! [Tabloid Whore]

Adrien Brody is so boring; he can’t even find someone to have lunch with. [In Case You Didn't Know]

Dog The Bounty Hunter has been arrested in Hawaii. Seriously, is anyone actually surprised by this news? Didn’t I just write about turning Hawaii into a maximum-security prison ala “Escape From New York” just last week? Does this make me psychic? [Dlisted]

If David Hasselhoff continues to throw around the word “awesome”, I’m going to have to find him and beat him. [Celebrity Silliness]

Looks like it’s splitsville for Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. And I thought for sure they were going to end up killing each other one day with a pair of matching steak knives. I guess that proves I’m not so psychic after all. But really, what do I care? I still get tomorrow’s paper today and Chicago stays safe because of it. You really can’t ask for anything more than that. [Celebrity Week]

Sarah Jessica Parker says she only has one fashion regret, adding further proof to the theory that she doesn’t own a mirror. And really, who can blame her? [Celebrity Nation]

Kate Bosworth is all silicone and bones. [The Skinny Website]

Is Rachel Bilson the new Wonder Woman? Am I supposed to know who Rachel Bilson is? Did I leave my teeth in the dishwasher again? The answers to these questions, and many more, after the break. [Manhattan Offender]