Actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje – a man whose name makes me want to run right out and hug the guy who invented cut & paste for Windows – was arrested in Waikiki last weekend for driving without a license and disobeying a police officer. Akinnuoye-Agbaje’s arrest – again, maybe I should send this cut & paste guy some flowers or something – marks the third time a cast member from “Lost” has been detained by police for doing something stupid on the streets of Hawaii in the last year.

But wait, that’s not all – at least six other cast members have been cited for traffic violations in Hawaii since the show began filming there.

From Honolulu Star Bulletin:

According to traffic court records:

» Josh Lee Holloway, who plays Sawyer, paid $153 in fines for going 53 mph in a 35 mph zone on Sept. 21, 2005.

» Dominic Monaghan, who plays Charlie the rock musician, paid $172 in fines for a March 10, 2005, speeding ticket for going 78 mph in a 55 mph zone and fines of $152 for an Aug. 12, 2004, speeding ticket . Monaghan was also cited for driving without a valid license on March 10, but that citation was dismissed.

» Naveen Andrews, who plays Sayid, paid a $122 fine after a citation for driving 70 mph in a 45 mph zone on Oct. 15, 2004, and paid $232 after pleading no contest for speeding 70 mph in a 35 mph zone on March 9, 2005.

» Ian Joseph Somerhalder, who played Boone in the first season, paid $202 in fines after being pulled over in Kaneohe on March 2, 2005, for going 42 mph in a 25 mph zone.

» Christian Jason Bowman, who plays Steve, was fined $112 after he was pulled over going 53 mph in a 35 mph zone on May 5, 2005. After Bowman wrote a letter to the court, the citation was amended to 48 mph.

» Harold Perrineau Jr., who plays Michael, was ticketed for having no motor vehicle insurance and no safety check. The charge was dismissed after he provided proof of insurance.

At this point in time, I think it would be a whole lot easier for the United States government to simply strip Hawaii of its statehood and turn it into one giant maximum-security prison than to try and clean it up.

Because then one day – when Air Force One is hijacked and the President goes down over the island of Oahu – the government will come to me and say, “Erich von Stroheim, we need your help. We need you to go in and retrieve the President.” To which I will respond, “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…sorry, but no. I’ve got Pilates at 3.”

Editor Note: Yes, I am well aware that by typing the words “when Air Force One is hijacked”, I just raised a bunch of flags and probably made another list. Unless those Nazis wonderful agents over at the Department of Fatherland Homeland Security have a sense of humor then maybe…ah never mind, I’m fucked.