Sorry guys, but if Halle Berry was pregnant, I think I’d know about it. After all, I am a licensed gynecologist…fucker of Halle Berry…ok…bullshit artist.[The Green Straw]

Further proof that Sienna Miller is really just a midget walking around on flesh-colored stilts. [The Skinny Website]

Once again, Lindsay Lohan faints because of the “heat”. Man, is she even going to be awake during her eternity in Hell? Because if she isn’t, I call first dibs on using her as a footrest. [Tabloid Whore]

Regis & Kelly could be the new God peddlers for the 21st century. [Manhattan Offender]

I knew it. Lance Bass would have been the first gay man in space. Aside from my Uncle Steve, of course. [The Velvet Hot Tub]

Tom Hanks has a bulge…in front of children! Heathen. [Best Week Ever]

I don’t want to sound racist, but I’m totally against wax couples having wax children. [Celebrity Nation]

Prince is getting a divorce. Cue the blubbering doves. [In Case You Didn't Know]

Could there be anything more fun than picking apart Shannen Doherty’s face? Ok, besides that, you sicko. [Popbytes]

Tori Spelling really wishes she went with the gold implants. [Dlisted]