Tara Reid is a hideously misshapen blob of STDs. And that’s the good news. [Dlisted]

Uma Thurman’s been wearing her clothes inside out again. [The Green Straw]

I’m going to pick a bar fight with Jessica Biel one day and see if she can take me. I’m betting she can. [The Skinny Website]

Two Spice Girls reunite at the same party. Buffet ruined. [Popbytes]

Brad Pitt is the new Mike Brady. And maybe one day, if he’s really, really lucky and works really, really hard, he’ll be the new Mr. Phillips too. [The Velvet Hot Tub]

Terrorist Kate Hudson crashes helicopter with her skinny flat ass in heels. [Celebrity Nation]

Avril Lavagina is now married to a guy with even less muscle tone than herself. I bet it takes both of them and a pulley to lift the toilet seat. [The Superficial]

It’s official – “Pirates of the Caribbean: Debra Messing’s Chest” is this year’s top grossing film so far. [Make Us Hot]

Britney Spears is determined to get back into shape after she has her second child. Because then she’ll have two dumbbells. [Tabloid Whore]

And finally, a quick game of word association –

Superman Brandon Routh: “sun-kissed”

Not-So-Super Me: “fag”

[Best Week Ever]