Joaquin Phoenix, You’re My Hero!
Christians the world over rejoiced late Sunday when actor Joaquin Phoenix revealed that after a strenuous two-year hunt, he had finally captured the reincarnated ball of light that is Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.
Previously mentioned here, the Hubbard light has gained notoriety over the last few years for convincing gullible followers like Tom Cruise to do things they normally wouldn’t [i.e. have sex with women or verbally attack baby smotherers like Brooke Shields].
While the exact location of the Hubbard light is currently under wraps, Phoenix assured the public that they having nothing more to fear and that the once influential ball of light has been carefully imprisoned alongside other religious icons like the second coming of Jesus and the always absent dinner guest Elijah.
Brooke Shields is pregnant again. Her attempts to kill Rowan were thwarted, so she’ll be on a mission to finish the deed next time. Good luck living to see your first birthday #2… Your mom has Munchausen by Proxy.
Comment by Bevvie — December 22, 2005 @ 8:38 pm
Look on the bright side – at her age, Brooke may only be able to have another 5 kids at best. Even if she kills all seven, that’s still well below standards of genocide.
Comment by Erich von Stroheim — December 29, 2005 @ 1:59 am
WHAT THE HECK ARE U TALKIN ABOUT! IDIOTS .COM BUT I LIKE THAT THE PIC WAS REALY GAY.
DOSE ANYONE ELSE AGREE WITH ME-ME AND ZO-ZO
Comment by ME-ME,ZO-ZO — April 28, 2006 @ 11:03 am
God this guy is SOOOOO sexy!!!
Comment by Shell — June 20, 2006 @ 7:04 pm
hell yes shell!!!!!!!!1
Comment by barb — October 23, 2006 @ 4:10 pm