




My Super Sweet 16 Marathon [MTV - 6 pm]
Reality series on birthday bashes around the country.
Whenever I watch this show, I just want to reach into my television set, grab the birthday girl, and shake her violently. That’s how much these girls frustrate me. It’s also how much I desperately need the change that falls to the ground.
I Shouldn’t Be Alive Marathon [Discovery Channel - 7 pm]
Dramatic stories of survival.
All the best episodes are here: “Shark Survivor”, “Kidnap in the Killing Fields”, “Swept Away”, “Jaws of Death”, “Escape From The Amazon”, and my own personal favorite “Paris Hilton”.
Peach Bowl [ESPN - 7:30 pm]
Miami Vs. LSU in Atlanta.
I have to admit that while I’m not much of a sports fan, I may tune in to watch this game anyway. After all, how many times in your life do you get to watch a bunch of grown men fight over a fuzzy piece of fruit?
100 Greatest Duets Concert [Country Music Television - 8 pm]
Performances by artists including Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.
I love country duets. They’re just so economical. To think that at just the right angle, you could actually kill two intolerable whiners with one bullet. Simply amazing.
Movies That Shook The World: “Pink Flamingos” [American Movie Classics - 10 pm]
A look at the underground classic “Pink Flamingos”.
Back in 1974, the only way you were ever going to see a considerably large transvestite eat a pile of dog shit was to go and see John Water’s “Pink Flamingos” at your local grind house. Nowadays, however, all you have to do is turn on C-Span. Wait, sorry; I confused eating shit with talking shit again. My apologies. The whole transvestite thing still holds true though.
*all times Eastern Standard Time unless otherwise noted